Some days it's really hard to see the good side of things and to actually be grateful for everything (both negative and positive) that has happened throughout the day. I don't think of myself as either a 'glass is half full' or 'glass is half empty' person. It seems like everywhere you look, there is some kind of talk about gratitude - whether it be a hot new book with tips on how to be a more grateful person or some creative canvas on Pinterest, creatively displaying an inspirational quote. The idea of being grateful is everywhere and essentially it is something that should just come naturally. However, I think we have all become hard wired to forget to be grateful and to dwell on the negative aspects of our lives.
The more I make a conscious effort to live more gratefully, the more I realise that some of my habits are more of a hindrance then a help when it comes to living this kind of lifestyle.
I can now admit to myself and everyone reading this, that I'm a part-time perfectionist. You sure can't tell from the daily disaster that my house seems to be in ... all the time. It's not that I enjoy living in chaos or in a constant state of disaster, it just seems to be the new norm as I try to balance life and work. I don't want to be that 'mom' who is so busy making sure her house is tidy and dust-free that she doesn't get a chance to enjoy life and all the little moments that happen around her. I've learned to be okay with everything not being tidy although inside I do cringe when I see areas in complete disarray - think my little guys bedroom after I have gone searching for him because he was entirely too quiet to not be causing 'trouble'. But I have learned to let go ...
Now in my craft room - that's a whole crazy world in itself. When I create something, the finished product has to be absolutely perfect ... when I'm done creating, it looks like a bomb went off. And I am okay with walking away from it. Some days I wonder how I can create in an area that looks like a war zone and I really don't have an answer. Perhaps my creative mind needs complete disorder and chaos in order
Maybe if my world was a little less chaotic and a lot more organized, I would feel a little more in control of my life. I'm sure I would be in a position where I would perhaps see the more positive things in life and not always immediately see the negative. At least this gives me something to work on. Wouldn't it be great to call myself a 3/4 time perfectionist in the future?!?! Perhaps one day in the future ...
So how can I adapt to live my life gratefully while struggling with my at times, OCD tendencies?!?!? That's something I have asked myself often and I still really don't have an answer. I think it's just going to be something that is a work in progress, much like how life is. Some days are going to be better then others and I'm just going to have to step back some days and be okay with the chaos. I need to realise that it is okay to have a lived in house, after all, my little guy is making memories and I would rather be a part of those memories, then standing back making sure nothing is out of place.
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